Thursday, December 13, 2007
My Jewish Vagina
By what I can only imagine was sheer accident I was born out of a Jewish Vagina.
Apparently, as soon as the crown of my head hit the vulva something was decided for me -for life.
That's it kid. You're one of us. Sorry, there's not much you can do.
Oh, and now, you have a Jewish Vagina. Peace.
The guy I'm seeing also came out of a Jewish Vagina, which makes him slightly more desirable to the Vagina from which I came. Jewish Vaginas like people who also come out of Jewish Vaginas.
Because now everyone has something to talk about and the ice has been broken.
"Jewish Vagina? Yeah? me too! 'nother drink?"
This is missing from Eve Ensler's work on the Vagina Monologues.
My Vagina is Chosen...
But, anyway, I'm learning, as I get older, and live in New York longer, that this Jewish Vagina of mine entitles me to some crazy things as well as puts me at some disadvantages.
It doesn't know Hebrew which is bad, but it is supposed to have a greater chance of landing a doctor for a husband. It gets a country to call its own, you know, just 'cause, but it has a strange persecution complex after years of systematically being exterminated. No hard feelings though.
I just wanted to take a minute and tell all the Jewish Vaginas out there that I see you and I know what other people can't see.
Like clits. A lot of people don't see them.
To be continued...