I am embarrassed. I am embarrassed and disgusted that a man like Chris Matthews is a journalist. No, I am embarrassed that people allow him to think.
Tonight, he asked Steve Capus, the President of NBC, if Ishmael, the name that Virgina Tech gunman Cho Seung-Hui adopted, was a reference to Moby Dick.
OK.
Maybe.
Sure. You could argue that, I suppose.
The kid was an English Major and Moby Dick is indisputably an important work of American fiction. Yeah, all the shit that happened on Monday could have to do with a whale and a boat.
...
OR IT COULD BE OUT OF THE FUCKING BIBLE!!!
Dip wad.
ISHMAEL, which means "God will hear" is only the FIRST SON of Abraham. That's all. You heard of Abraham? Abraham, you know that little guy who almost sacrificed his son, Isaac, the father of the Israelites. You know, Abraham, that little guy that three MAJOR WORLD RELIGIONS hinge their beliefs on. Or whatever.
And Ishmael, his son, cast out by Sarah. You know, maybe one of the most famous outcasts. Ishmael, the one who many deem to be the blood line of Islam.
You heard of Islam, Matthews?
No? Well, it's just this religion that we've been a little prejudiced toward for the past few years. Just the second LARGEST religion in the world.
But, you know, whatever.
"Is that from Moby Dick, do you think?"
Oh shit, yes, of course, Melville. I'm glad you cracked it. Man, I would have gone on thinking it had something to do with the Bible.
Google it, for Christ's sake.
Note: If I turn out to be incorrect and we find out that this had to do with Melville's narrator, and had nothing to do with alienation of biblical proportions, I will PERSONALLY call Hardball and issue a formal apology.
And buy Matthews a copy of Moby Dick.
In hard cover.
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OR you could just go to a comic book shop and get him the shitty 1968 Classics Illustrated version if you wanted to be vengeful.
OR maybe I should just jump the gun, assume I'm right, and send him the "Jesus Is Lord" illustrated Bible.
You know, to help him.
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