Here's to another umbrella orgasm

I am terrible at the holidays.

I am the last minute shopper. I am the person who forgets that guy, oh shit, that guy. I like getting lost in Holiday movies that make me forget my own family. My family doesn't drink so there's no escape there. It is Christmas Eve and I still haven't hit the road or wrapped anything. I am in Brooklyn looking at the clothes on my floor. I am the only person they don't hate- until I get there, seven hours in and I'm one of the gang. Christmas is always a fight and a rumble, like Thanksgiving but with bad gifts and the pressure of having to fake it. Opening presents in front of my family is the equivalent of falsifying the enjoyment of sex. Worse, because you have to REALLY make them think you like it. This is the GREATEST Umbrella I have ever SEEN! Oh my God, WHERE did you get this bathrobe??!!

And every year I think of that line in the Christmas song by the Waitresses, "Merry Christmas, but I think I'll miss this one this year." But, it hasn't seemed to happen yet. Maybe next year.


Hey everyone. The Happiest of Happys. Be peaceful.

I might check in later in the week if I can get a signal or their dial up to work.

If ANYONE asks, I love the sweater with the Duck on it that Nana is going to give me. Love it.