Monday, January 22, 2007

Buddha, go back to bed, it's just a rash.

I have decided Fuck Sex in the City, I am gonna tell it like it really is here in New York. I have decided I am going to write a script that gives the real low down on living and dating in New York City. This New York. Our New York. The twenty-something-thirty-something,24,000-35,000,scrape-it-together,I live in Brooklyn NOT Manhattan existence.

I want a show that has recovering Drug Addicts, Depressives, Hypochondriacs,Artists,People who work in Bagel Stores,Bartenders,Bad Bands, Drifters,Grifters and the people insane enough to hang out with them.

My show will not have one pretty dress or lunch with the ladies.
There will, however, be Hangovers, People Crying Uncontrollably, Internet Hijinks(Sarah, I will employee you as a research coach),People Stalked at the Guggenheim, Frantic Paranoid Phone Calls at 3 am about Venereal Diseases,and Married Men Going Home Drunk with Hickeys.

There will be arguments about Buddhism and frequent discussions about the nature of existence. Everyone will be over educated and unable to pay back their student loans. Everyone will fear marriage and procreation. No one will wear make-up, Some asshole will occasionally quote Howl.

And, no one on the show will write for Vogue, because they are lucky enough to be of the generation that hates fashion, sweats too much, and doesn't need an article to help them to please their lovers.

Since I'm writing it, think Woody Allen meets Twin Peaks, has sex with My So Called Life learns to play an Ani Difranco song on the guitar, and marries Bob Dylan. Think lots of akward pauses, cut throat humor, and a push for a happy ending.

I'm thinking HBO.

I just need a title.


Sam said...

I'm in. When do we start writing?

Felix Bucolic said...

If you have gay characters, can they be people instead of snappy accessories for today's stylish woman? And if they're lesbians, can they not die? I'm no student of dead lesbian theory, but I hear that happens to lesbians a lot in tv and movies. Or so says google. A cliche, they call it. Y'know. Like Tara on Buffy. That was really sad. Oh wait. You probably don't know. And are probably better for not knowing.

ash said...

look at what i did! i actually created an account all the way from sprinfield, il, so i could post a comment so i could tell you that you HAVE to write this show. it would be the greatest show ever. it would make me watch tv, yep, just like i started reading your blog. okay, so, um, i'll end this with a threat, if you don't: i'm moving out.

MS said...

No prob Felix, the gay men I know wouldn't tolerate being my handbag anyway. Even if they were going out to a ritzy dinner. Wink.

Ash, I think you heard me when I said come home. And I'm a' writing. Don't you worry. Just let me know what the character with the sunny disposition and strong stomach is named.

MS said...

And Sam...

We got our work cut out for us.
Wait 'til I tell you about the Greek guy I know who personally seals coffins bound overseas with a Bic Lighter.

Megan said...

I wanna help! Can you include lots of subway scenes? Like one where the dude next to the chick who has totally sold out and is working for the man keeps bumping her in the leg with his briefcase so she turns to him and elbows him in the gut?

Or the one where a different dude is sitting across from the aforementioned chick and he starts masturbating under his copy of the Metro? And she walks over and elbows him in the gut?

Like maybe she just daydreams all the time about kicking the shit out of people.

That would be funny. And true. And me.

Love you, Melissa. You are woman. I hear you roar.

Rachel said...

I just think that you should know, I live in manhattan, skin of my teeth, and you should include that in the show. Because it can happen for hipsters without trust funds too.

and the anxiety of leaving the big happy apartment in brooklyn for the manhattan coffin space.

and not just write the show, but let's just film it too. Digital isn't hard, we all need a better project, and we can put it on public access tv until hbo picks it up.

My friend lisa suggested calling it, New York Shitty.

I met someone at a party a few yaers ago who had a similar idea for a show, but wanted something like sex in the hood. And it was more bronx and less brooklyn focused.

But maybe something else.

And can we have minorities in it without them being tokens? really. City life is depicted either as the wire or sex in. Bullshit.

nick said...

at 35,001 I guess I can't participate eh? oh yeah, also I live in Queens.

but maybe I can play a sort of all-around-aberration... hey I know my name could be, like 'Rick Regular' or 'Orlando Ordinary'! What do you think!?

glad to have you back with us Melissa!

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